I was 34 when I had my first child. 41 when I had my second. I say I had but my wife was also involved.
After a two year honeymoon, travelling the world, the wife and I decided to have a baby with no plan or discussion around how many we actually wanted and when. Maybe we should have thought then about what age gap we wanted between our kids. But we didn’t.In my mind I always wanted two kids as I have a great sister and my wife has two sisters so we know the value in having others around the place.
So the first one was born and off we slid and slided on our rollercoaster ride of parenthood. And the years went by as our friends (who had started a few years before us anyway) dropped another sprog or two in quick succession.
Fools we cried! Now I thought I was tired but those with two toddlers looked like a hedge would not even let them be dragged backwards through it.
We were happy with the one and I am honestly not sure if we could have coped with two of a very young age. One is tough and I was told having two is like having 5!! I now have two and at times it has felt like we have 10!
We didn’t try, or try, for years after our first child. A second kid was not something we ever discussed but I think we both knew we wanted another, just not sure when.
There was a point, about 5 years after the first when we stopped with contraception but nothing was happening. Nothing was wrong with us and we never thought much about it. I am guessing our reproductive organs has sussed that we were not trying that hard.
We were both about to decide to stick to one kid, as my hairdresser had no way of removing all my grey hairs anymore, when my wife fell pregnant. She was actually afraid to tell me as I was starting to feel a bit old to have a baby again. But I was happy. So all good.
So we now had a 6 year old who was very easy, and a new baby who wasn’t. They are a baby. They are not easy!
However it was not too difficult as as we knew what the hell we were doing and our oldest loved helping out. He was so excited all the way through the pregnancy and was the first to see her when she was born. He had a bit of a cold and it looked like he would not be able to see her which upset him greatly. Thankfully, common sense prevailed and he was allowed on ward.
But now we have hit a tricky patch. They both love each other but their age gap is quite marked. He is about to turn 9 and is in to his computer games. She has just gone 3 and is Frozen mad and obsessed with the programmes my eldest used to watch but can’t bear any more.
So the issue we have is that the youngest one tends to get her way as you have to do things that she can do. The oldest one has to make do and, sometimes, I feel a bit sad that what he wants to do is sacrificed.
Our friends, who had kids within a matter of years, are now over all of this. They all have early teen kids who vanish, or ask to be taken somewhere to vanish.
We still, in our early 40s, have to work our lives around our young kids.
So what is a good age gap between kids? I have no complaints about how late we left it and how long we went between kids. However, if i was to be reincarnated, I would have two kids within a couple of years of each other.
Unless I get reincarnated as a women then I wont be having any kids thank you very much.